Yes. I do believe my title pretty much sums up my feelings of last night.
For the last two years, Little Bear has been falling asleep with us on the couch every night. Poppa Bear and I enjoy this time with her for several reasons. We enjoy the snuggling and we enjoy being with her since both of us work outside of the home. It gives us time to bond with her and just enjoy her. However, the last few nights she's been falling asleep later than 8pm - she's been either falling asleep or still awake close to/at 10pm every night (the bedtime for Poppa Bear and I). When I got to get her in the mornings at 6:30 she's still asleep. This is not normal for her so I know she hasnt been getting enough sleep.
I always knew this time would come. The day where we'd have to institute a more formal bedtime routine. I knew what we were doing was probably not the best decision but it was what was comfortable to me - to us. It's no secret that we had to undergo a lot of loss and sadness before receiving our Miracle baby. It is only natural for me to hold on for as long as I can. It's intensified even more due to the fact that i'm away from her for so long during the day. I/We look forward to the "family couch time" every night. Last night, however, was the first night without it and truth be told, we did not like it!
Seven o'clock rolled around last night and we immediately started the routine....bath, massage, reading, cuddling, time for bed @ 8:00. She looked and cried very sadly thinking she did something wrong. I'll be honest, it sounded like she thought we didn't love her anymore (Talk about breaking my heart). I had to explain to her that she did nothing wrong, that Mommy and Daddy still loved her but that now that she is getting to be a big girl that it was time to start a big girl bedtime routine. We did this as sincere as we possibly could. We kissed her, put her in her crib and walked out. Ugh. Broke my heart!!! She cried for about 15 minutes, played for about another 15 and then was out.
Me? I stayed by the baby monitor for those good 30 minutes - my heart breaking and aching inside. Sitting there longing with everything I had to go up there, grab her and come back down to cuddle with me. It tore me up inside. Poppa Bear wasn't liking it one bit either but he was still easily distracted and entertained with his Xbox 360 game. Me? I couldn't think of anything else. After my ear was pressed up against that monitor for so long I just went upstairs and sat in front of her door. I'll admit, I was pretty darn close to going in there but I stayed strong.
I dunno...Help me out here folks......is it wrong to keep her on the couch with us at night until she falls asleep? should we start this routine now? or would it be an alternative if she came back downstairs with us for just a short while as a transition and when we feel she is falling asleep (or it's close to that 8:00 period) we then put her to bed? After last night, I want to think that maybe a transition would be better for all of us - like the last suggestion. I don't know..I just know it tore us all up inside. My heart is still hurting. She never gave me more of a hug than she did when I greeted her this morning. I want to be a good Mother tho and instill good values and habits for her. I just don't want to make a decision like this and have it slap me in the face, ya know?
For the last two years, Little Bear has been falling asleep with us on the couch every night. Poppa Bear and I enjoy this time with her for several reasons. We enjoy the snuggling and we enjoy being with her since both of us work outside of the home. It gives us time to bond with her and just enjoy her. However, the last few nights she's been falling asleep later than 8pm - she's been either falling asleep or still awake close to/at 10pm every night (the bedtime for Poppa Bear and I). When I got to get her in the mornings at 6:30 she's still asleep. This is not normal for her so I know she hasnt been getting enough sleep.
I always knew this time would come. The day where we'd have to institute a more formal bedtime routine. I knew what we were doing was probably not the best decision but it was what was comfortable to me - to us. It's no secret that we had to undergo a lot of loss and sadness before receiving our Miracle baby. It is only natural for me to hold on for as long as I can. It's intensified even more due to the fact that i'm away from her for so long during the day. I/We look forward to the "family couch time" every night. Last night, however, was the first night without it and truth be told, we did not like it!
Seven o'clock rolled around last night and we immediately started the routine....bath, massage, reading, cuddling, time for bed @ 8:00. She looked and cried very sadly thinking she did something wrong. I'll be honest, it sounded like she thought we didn't love her anymore (Talk about breaking my heart). I had to explain to her that she did nothing wrong, that Mommy and Daddy still loved her but that now that she is getting to be a big girl that it was time to start a big girl bedtime routine. We did this as sincere as we possibly could. We kissed her, put her in her crib and walked out. Ugh. Broke my heart!!! She cried for about 15 minutes, played for about another 15 and then was out.
Me? I stayed by the baby monitor for those good 30 minutes - my heart breaking and aching inside. Sitting there longing with everything I had to go up there, grab her and come back down to cuddle with me. It tore me up inside. Poppa Bear wasn't liking it one bit either but he was still easily distracted and entertained with his Xbox 360 game. Me? I couldn't think of anything else. After my ear was pressed up against that monitor for so long I just went upstairs and sat in front of her door. I'll admit, I was pretty darn close to going in there but I stayed strong.
I dunno...Help me out here folks......is it wrong to keep her on the couch with us at night until she falls asleep? should we start this routine now? or would it be an alternative if she came back downstairs with us for just a short while as a transition and when we feel she is falling asleep (or it's close to that 8:00 period) we then put her to bed? After last night, I want to think that maybe a transition would be better for all of us - like the last suggestion. I don't know..I just know it tore us all up inside. My heart is still hurting. She never gave me more of a hug than she did when I greeted her this morning. I want to be a good Mother tho and instill good values and habits for her. I just don't want to make a decision like this and have it slap me in the face, ya know?
Thanks for visiting my little blog! Now the snow is starting to turn into huge, dirty piles of ice crystals - not so nice.
I'm not sure how you backtrack but I would definitely have eased into a change. I don't know who decided what "should" happen at any given time. She's a baby for goodness sakes. There are cultures that hold and sleep with their children for years and years and years. There's also this myth that in the US, parents and kids sleep separately. Well, ask people for the truth and you'll hear how the kids crawl in to bed in the middle of the night, sleep on the floor next to them, moms fall asleep with the kids, etc. etc.
How will having a secure, confident, loved-up child be bad? OK, if you're still doing this when she's 28? I'd have to wonder ;-)
You love up that child, honey!